EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
