She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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