I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
