I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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