Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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