bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
