well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
