I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
