It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
