I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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