If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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