The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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