he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
