How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
