I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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