The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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