i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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