i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I will pee on everything he values.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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