That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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