How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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