As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
