Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
