Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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