We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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