Sponge bath it is.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
