Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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