Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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