my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
