Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize