it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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