just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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