i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
