No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We're too hungover to prance.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize