I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
