Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
