Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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