I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
