Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just high enough for therapy.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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