I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
