You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
We got so high we made milksteak
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
