i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
