i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
