i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
