Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
