I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm at about main and main street
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
