Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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