I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
