Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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