He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
