Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
