Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
