I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
