i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
