Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
