i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just blew my weed a kiss
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
