In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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