Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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